Sunday, May 6, 2012

Night and Day

To stop the sleepless nights that tormented us so long ago, I have peacefully drifted to dreamland with Ashi for years now. While some abhor the thought of tucking themselves in with their kids, it has actually become my favorite part of the day. Here's one example why:

Our heads hit the pillow one night after a long day. Ashi asked me to tell her about a time, any time, when she had an uncontrollable meltdown. I was weary and ready for sleep, but she was curiously probing me for the gory details of her 'glory days.'

I began to carefully spell out times we would try to leave Wal-Mart after shopping and she would be so horribly upset by that transition that she would scream and cry. I told her about the glares and stares from 'ladies' that made me so self-conscious.  These were painful times for me, but oddly, my daughter lay beside me laughing her head off, wanting another story!


So, I added times when going shopping was tricky because she never wanted to get dressed, or leave the house, or stop lining her animals up long enough to grab groceries. It was frustrating back then, but now, Ashi's giggles jiggled the whole bed.  Her shoulders bounced up and down while she laughed and tried to catch her breath enough to ask for more stories!

So, I rattled off how we stopped going out to eat because she liked to crawl under the table in public (she chuckles!); how she would fall to the ground kicking and screaming when it was time to leave the library (she bubbles over with laughter!); how we had to schedule doctor appointments so the doctor could see her in the waiting room instead of the office (full belly laughs and gasping for air! She begged for more!)

So, I continued, telling her how she got kicked out of Sunday School at age 2 because she didn't want to color, she only wanted to sort the crayons (hysterics from Ashi, one lone tear in the dark from Mommy); she also did not want to put puzzles together, she wanted to tap the pieces together in front of her face instead and she was not going to gather in a circle to sing songs (rolling giggles from Ashi, another silent tear from Mommy); her wandering about the room, admiring displays and posters about Jesus wasn't encouraged or tolerated. Those teachers refused to understand that she wasn't being rotten, she could already read and she stored all that information about Jesus in her brain. (Ashi, now giddy, rolling in her sheets, Mommy dabbing tears with them.)

As I was sh'shing Ashi's uncontrollable glee, I realized how all these moments stand still in time for me. I think they're painful, but Ashi's thrilled by them. Different, just like night and day. I'm happy about that. I feel like we've done a good job protecting her from our hurt and hurtful people. Ashi's happy stroll down memory lane was my resentful trudge up forgiveness' rocky path; a walk I definitely needed to take. After hearing all that laughter, it's certainly a lot easier to walk out of that darkness and right into brighter days.



Annie Eskeldson writes for parents of young autists.  Her own autist used to require 4 hours of sleep per day from age 2 until age 5.  Brutal!

Annie has 3 published children's books about autism that also nurture parents at www.ashisgift.com 
If you like this blog, come over and visit www.izaiahsscroll.blogspot.com as well!
 





8 comments:

  1. I love telling our real life stories - It never fails to amaze me what my kids do!! Share yours too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. wonderful post as usual Annie :) We've been there too, sleep is still a challenge for my daughter, but it is getting easier! We finally decided to change our 'routine' as well and it has helped! thank you for sharing your story with us! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Bird!! Your own posts are wonderful too, I really enjoy them!

      Delete
  3. I love your blog. There are days when I think my son is mini me, and there are days were are also night and day. Beautiful pictures of you and Ashi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol!! I know, it's funny isn't it? We always see so much of ourselves in our kids too :)

      Delete
  4. Annie, this is so well written! It reminds me so much of what I'm going through with TY now. Thanks for the inspiration!! You are such a wonderful mom to Ashi. P.S. JR still sleeps with us too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi momof4cutiez!!! I want to thank you so much for your inspiring words - how kind!! I do so want to lift up Mommies enjoying the blessings and getting through the challenges that kids with special needs have. I appreciate you takiang the time to come by and read and also comment - thanks from the bottom of my heart!

      Delete
  5. Waooow!! Nice blog, this will be greatly helpful.
    unique gifts

    ReplyDelete